Once upon a time, there was this guy I dated off and on. Tall and gangly and, despite his braces smelling like putrefying lo mein all the time, a handsome and charming fellow when he was not cackling. I do not miss your cackle. You did lose the braces and start brushing, though, and that was kind of you.
And it is to you I will continue to delegate this message. From me.
I GET IT NOW!!!!!!!!! I learned today what it is you've been trying to do all these years, flopping around on your heels like a trained seal and quivering those wild jelly bones all over the place. It is called the C-Walk. You may have heard of this if you are not white and sheltered and busy with Joan Baez records.
I apologize. It's a dance.
You didn't look like that... That's a nice thing to say, right?
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