Be gentle

I am going to be a brilliant filmmaker too. This was a very low budget production.



Edit: Hey xtranormal.com where's my blockbuster hit?? Banned.

Nothing personal

Our feelings of love are adequate in quality and quantity. I consider us a satisfactory match. You are a sufficient lover. We will competently pass another 365 days. I look forward to demonstrating these emotions again in the future. Thanks in advance for your consideration.

Regards,

Lay low, Celine

I go to a website to stream "Last Time Around" by Lay Low, and I click on the play button, and then it's Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me."

What's the worst lag I've ever had? Trying to click the PAUSE II button on that fucking song. It could not have been worse if it was Shania Twain. The hourglass endured all the way to "You touched my hand, I could touch the sky."

I am always the last to know

Once upon a time, there was this guy I dated off and on. Tall and gangly and, despite his braces smelling like putrefying lo mein all the time, a handsome and charming fellow when he was not cackling. I do not miss your cackle. You did lose the braces and start brushing, though, and that was kind of you.

And it is to you I will continue to delegate this message. From me.

I GET IT NOW!!!!!!!!! I learned today what it is you've been trying to do all these years, flopping around on your heels like a trained seal and quivering those wild jelly bones all over the place. It is called the C-Walk. You may have heard of this if you are not white and sheltered and busy with Joan Baez records.

I apologize. It's a dance.





You didn't look like that... That's a nice thing to say, right?